Monday, 28 July 2014

That moment

...where a fellow train passenger of the hipster persuasion tries to put on his flimsy little hat with a nifty manoeuvre but evidently has same hand/eye coordination as a certain blogger, and ends up crawling around in the aisle trying to retrieve the hat from under a seat... I did my best not to snigger. That was made a lot easier by his extremely low-cut trousers, the sight of which actually made me want to cry more than anything else...

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Honeys, I'm home

Ahh - sommerferie. Findes der noget bedre end tre hele uger stort set uden planer, hvor man kan lave lige præcis det man har lyst til?  Jeg har spist is, besøgt venner, drukket vin, været i byen, været hjemme, badet, været flittig-Tine, været doven-Tine, og i det hele taget nydt livet.

Nu er jeg tilbage på pinden, og det er heldigvis også dejligt. Der er stadig ferie-stille på kontoret, men det er ikke aldeles dødt, så jeg nyder det og har endog fået ryddet op i min inbox osv.

Nå ja. Og så bor jeg ikke alene mere.  Sidst i juni fik jeg nemlig følgende sms fra min søster - jeg nåede ikke engang at læse, endsige besvare, den første, før den næste tikkede ind:



...og de to marsvin, som nu bor hos min søster, havde en bror - som nu bor hos mig.

Verden - mød Viggo!

@ N ~ 

Dearly beloved.

I am back from vacation.  Well, I say "back". I didn't actually go anywhere. I just turned off my head so didn't feel like writing.

But what did I do then?  Exactly what I felt like, that's what :-)   visited friends, drank wine, ate ice cream for breakfast, got up early some days and snoozed until noon on other days, cleaned out the garage, read books cover-to-cover in one sitting, went sunset swimming, and most things in between.   A three week time-out with zero plans is a gift and I think I made the most of it (but will go travelling later in the year; the wander lust is not dead).

Oh, and I no longer live on my own.  About a month ago, my sister texted me:

"do you want a guinea pig?"

-and before I had time to read it, let alone answer, the next one ticked in:

"I just bought two guinea pigs"

Yes, she is like that :-)

And as it turned out, her two guinea pigs had a brother. And he just moved in with me.

World - meet Viggo the guinea pig:

He's a liiiitle bit of a fussy eater...


- He does yoga...


- And his favourite thing is CUDDLES :-)

Saturday, 5 July 2014

A girl's best friend ... might be of the sort that runs on batteries

Jeg læste forleden i et dameblad, at uafsatte damer som jeg selv skal huske selvforkælelse.  Dybest set går det ud på, at eftersom vi ikke har nogen kavaler, som kommer med blomster og gaver, må vi selv sørge for dén side af sagen (og samtidig yde vort til at skubbe forbrugsfesten lidt i gang igen).

Alle ved jo, at står det i et dameblad er det sandt, og jeg har derfor investeret i et batteridrevet uhyre, som jeg allerede er så glad for, at jeg vil vove at påstå, at den vil vække lykke hos enhver kvinde. Specielt dem med have ...

@ N ~ I recently read in a woman's magazine that it is very important for single women like us to spoil ourselves from time to time. Seeing as we do not have a "beau" to shower us with flowers and presents, we must take matters into our own hands (and do our bit for the economy into the bargain I suppose).

Of course, I take the advice of such magazines as gospel so yesterday I invested a decent sum of money in a battery-driven device.  I am very happy with my purchase and recommend it to all da single ladies - especially da single ladies with a garden...

Behold: my new grass trimmer (/destroyer of weeds/noisy piece of machinery)



Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Philosophy #fail

Vi har alle filosofiske facebook-venner, ikke?

Lige pt er der en del af mine, som lommefilosofisk skriver updates à la The secret to life/success/whatever: "fall seven times, stand up eight".

Det er lidt tabt på mig. Altså, jeg forstår godt essensen i det, men det eneste jeg tænker er, at det er ikke fysisk muligt at rejse sig flere gange end man er væltet. Med mindre man tæller den gang med, hvor man var kommet op at stå, før man tiltede 7 gange...

@ N ~ I have couple of semi-philosophical facebook friends (don't we all?) who at the moment seem to have a fondness for a Japanese (?) proverb that goes a little something like the key to life/success/[insert appropriate term here] is "fall seven times, stand up eight".

While I do get the deeper meaning of it ("never evah give up", unless I'm very much mistaken), the only thing I can think of is that it isn't physically possible. Unless of course you count that very first time you stood up, before you toppled over seven times ...

Surely, the secret must be more along the lines of "fall seven times. Stand up seven times. Don't kick yourself too much in the process. We all falter."

?

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Indre Lecia folder sig ud.

Nå. Men så var jeg jo inviteret til fødselsdagsfest i lørdags. Timingen var mellemgod da jeg skulle på en længe udsat barselsvisit søndag. Og dén visit kunne ikke udsættes mere, for ellers ville barnet nå at lære at gå før jeg kom afsted. 

Så jeg drog til fest lørdag med alle intentioner om at skulle tidligt hjem, hvad jeg også havde lovet mine forældre der var hyret som chauffører.

Well...

Linda skrev for del år siden et par notes-to-self, som bl.a. omfattede følgende:

* Skal have investeret i diktafon. Alt, hvad jeg føler akut behov for at sige, indtales på denne. Hvis det stadig er en god idé dagen efter, er der grønt lys.
* Skal have investeret i lommeudgave af elektronisk væg-øre. Tjekkes en gang i timen, og når det lyser rødt, så fletter jeg næbbet eller går hjem.

Det siger sig selv at ingen af delene rigtig blev efterlevet, men jeg magtede dog lige akkurat at undlade at sende fulde-sms'er.

Først drak jeg en flaske vin + lidt til, senere var der en i selskabet der begav sig ud i at lave mojitos (aftenens citat: "jeg kan godt have en til. Ja, allerede"). Så blev jeg grebet af en overbevisning om, at jeg både var underholdende og uimodståelig. Vil heller ikke udelukke at jeg på et tidspunkt også troede at jeg så godt ud og kunne synge; gu'sketakoglov var det ikke rigtig et selskab der sådan lagde op til fællessang.

Til min store fryd bestod selskabet nemlig af en 15-17 mænd (primært gamle skolekammerater), en underholdende pige, og så mig.  Det var ikke ringe endda.  Jeg kunne med fødderne på sikker grund glippe forførende med de i dagens anledning mascara-inficerede øjenvipper uden at risikere at nogen tog mig på ordet (eller hvad værre er - på låret). Det passer mig så glimrende; jeg vil jo gerne kaste varme blikke henover bordet men er faktisk ikke leveringsdygtig interesseret i mere end dét.

Således havde jeg følgende uhyre åndrige ordveksling med en af de få festdeltagere, jeg ikke kendte fra før:

"Sig mig, du lægger jo an på mig?!!"
"Ja!" (han får 10 point for ligefremhed)
...
"Nå. Men det kommer altså ikke til at virke"

Mindes vagt, at da han tog hjem, gav jeg ham et smækkys og sagde "men godt forsøgt ellers".

Er nogen søde at slå mig med en skovl??

Anyways. På et tidspunkt begyndte solen at belave sig på at stå op, og på vej hjem i bilen (min mors ord da jeg satte mig ind: "hold kæft hvor du stinker") gik jeg i panik de første tyve gange over hvor utrolig få timer der var til jeg skulle op og ud og være præsentabel.  Verdens største omgang tømmermænd lå utvivlsomt i vente ved søndagens barselsvisit, og man vil jo nødig skade det yndige barn ved at dunste alkoholtåger ned i hovedet på det.

...

Og så vågnede jeg 4 minutter i 9. Helt af mig selv. Helt vågen. Helt u-svimmel. Helt sikkert ude af stand til at køre bil, men det skulle jeg heldigvis heller ikke.

Om jeg begriber det - mig, den største svagdrikker af alle.  Barselsvisit blev gennemført i fin stil, efterfulgt af en times togrejse i vågen tilstand, efterfulgt af besøg hos veninde hvor jeg også holdt mig vågen uden de store problemer, helt til jeg blev lagt i seng klokken 22.

10 mod 1 på at næste gang jeg overmodigt drikker ét glas vin, går jeg i dørken med et brag.

PS - bør jeg sige undskyld til ham fyren? Eller tror I han har fortrængt det?

blurry selfie


@ N ~ I was at a party this weekend. A birthday party. A really good party. I got hammered.  Boy oh boy oh boy.

It was supposed to be a fun but early night - I had a commitment mid-morning Sunday to go and visit a friend who had a baby a few months ago. It had been postponed a couple of times already so cancelling was not an option. Ergo, I told my mum and dad - who had kindly offered to come and pick me up after the party - to expect a call around maybe 1.30AM.

Yeah, right.

First, I downed a bottle of wine at dinner. Then someone started making mojitos and, I mean, those things are basically SO healthy for you - there's mint and lime and all sorts of good things in them - so I was the lady who kept saying "I could do with one more. Yes, already", and inevitably I very soon became convinced that not only was I irresistible; I was also incredibly funny and entertaining.

Yeah, right.

It is also possible that at one point, I actually thought I could sing. Fortunately, it wasn't a sing-along sort of party: It was me, one other girl, and 15-17 men (most of whom I went to university with). Not much singing at that kind of party. Thank goodness for small blessings.  

So mostly I just talked and talked and talkedandtalked (- apologies to my surroundings), tried to dictate the play list (apologies again), and batted my eyelashes at whoever happened to be sitting across the table from me because trust me, these guys are fairly safe to bat eyelashes at.

There was only a couple of people that I didn't already know. One of them did seem to want to get to know me a little better, so we had the following exchange (apologies, again...):

Me: "You're hitting on me, aren't you?!!"
Him: "Yes!"  (I have to give him points for the straight answer)
Me: ".... Well. It's not going to work."

What a subtle way of getting the "sorry, not interested" message across. 

When he left the party, I gave him a quick smack of a kiss and said, "but nice try".

Someone hit me with a shovel, please?

...at one point it was getting dangerously close to sunrise, so I reluctantly went home (my mom's words as I got into the car: "gosh, you reek"). Almost had a panic attack when I realised that in less than 5 hours I had to get up, go out, and be presentable. Went to bed convinced that the mother of all hangovers awaited me.

-And woke up, by myself, at 4 minutes to 9. Completely nausea-free, able to walk in a straight line, and not even particularly tired. What gives???  So I went and admired the baby, then went to another friend's house and didn't even have any particular problems staying awake until bed time.  I think maybe all the cells in my body may have re-generated in just a couple of hours. It's the only logical explanation I can think of.

And I'm sure that the next time I take so much as a sip of wine, it will hit me like a ton of bricks.

PS - do you think I should apologise to the guy, or can we safely assume he has blocked me from memory forgotten all about it?


Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Close encounters

Klokken er ikke engang 8, og jeg har indtil videre præsteret

1- at gå direkte ind i en mands mås, fordi han uden varsel bukkede sig ned på toppen af trappen for at binde sine snørebånd. 

2- at daske en mand i skridtet, fordi jeg kom til at svinge lidt for kækt med armen da jeg steg ud af toget. 

Vi byder velkommen til en efter alt at dømme ganske interessant tirsdag...

@N ~ not even 8AM yet and so far I've managed to

1- walk straight into a strangers bum because he stopped at the top of the stairs at the station and bent over to tie his shoe laces. 

2- hit another guy in the crotch when I exited the train. Not HIT-hit. More like a little nudge because apparently, my flailing arms are like heat-seeking missiles. 

I'll bet that made their day. And I'm wondering what kind of day *I* am going to have. An interesting one, probably. 

Happy Tuesday :-)

Monday, 9 June 2014

I søsterboblen

Når jeg er sammen med min søster spiser vi sushi. Og laver hyldeblomstsaft. Og sidder med små kyllinger i hænderne indtil de falder i søvn. 

Det er ikke værst. 




@N ~ am in the sister bubble. We've been making elderflower cordial and hanging out with tiny chicks. Feeling a day-old chick falling asleep in your hand beats - well, anything :-)