Friday, 17 July 2015

Les Vacances

Three weeks of doing-exactly-what-I-feel-like kick off today!! 

The year before last I did absolutely nothing on my holiday. I was 100% lazy and it was fantastic. Last year I felt a bit more energetic so I had a might-do list and actually ticked off a few things on it. This year I have a to-do list....

There should still be plenty of laziness though. To ensure that, I have enlisted the assistance of Saint Viggo The Ever Cuddly. He's even better at it than I am. 

Yes, he's using a chunk of corn as a pillow. That way food is within easy reach if he wakes up feeling a bit peckish:-)

Saturday, 13 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 4 - revisited the 80's

This music video really has everything good from the eighties, apart from Cindy Lauper maybe.

It has pan flutes ....


It has Morten Harket, giving us that look and showing off his cheek bones

It has a guy playing a portable keyboard

It has the signature cartoons, made famous in the "Take on Me" video


And a dial phone .... hello nostalgia. Do you remember the satisfactory feeling of dialling the number zero?
All screen shots taken late late late one evening
when I was supposed to be asleep.
I wasn't, and now you're paying the price
mwa-ha-ha


And if you feel like a bit of 80's music, here is the video:


Thursday, 11 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 3: considered going vegetarian

Lad det være sagt med det samme: jeg synes meget bedre om Hong Kong end om resten af Kina. Hong Kong giver på en måde bedre mening i mit hoved når jeg bevæger mig rundt i byen, og lur mig om ikke det nok er kolonitidens aftryk der huer min anglofile hjerne. Inderst inde er jeg jo bare en elitær europæer.

Når det så er sagt, så lykkedes det mig stadig at få et par nær-gys-oplevelser ved mødet med et menukort...

@ N ~ you haven't really been to China if you haven't seen at least one menu with rather unusual items on it.  This time it was Hong Kong which I liked a whole lot better than mainland China (it's the elitist, anglophile European in me, I'm sure).  I still spent a couple of delightful moments pondering which delicacy to try before meekly opting for "just noodles with chicken please".

Mmmh, Saliva Chicken.
...or Drunken Pig?

Decisions, decisions...
Savlekylling eller beruset gris?


I'm guessing it was the Drunken Pig
that was out of service (but could 
definitely be mistaken here. It just
seems very likely is all) 
Jeg ved ikke helt hvad det var for
en ret, der var "out of service",
men det lyder da sandsynligt,
at det var den berusede gris

Hønsefødder og abrikoser
og lungen af en kyyyylling

Kom så, syng med børn!

PS . Det kan ikke udelukkes, at det
er lungen af en gris. Men kylling
passer bedre med melodien.


...but nothing beats this one from Beijing.
Face/Off
Intet slår dog denne her fra et menukort
i Beijing. Stop-Spild-Af-Mad folket
græder af lykke over den smukke
udnyttelse af hele dyret :-)


Monday, 8 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 2: ditched the Tinder app

Som trofaste læsere vil vide, holder jeg meget af at gå på dates. Jeg har dog aldrig fået svunget mig op på niveauet fra november 2012, hvor jeg var på 11 first dates + det løse. Er ligesom blevet en smule lad, kan jeg godt fornemme.

Omvendt - er det ikke lidt dårlig stil at gå på date med det primære formål at samle inspiration til blogindlæg...? Vi lader spørgsmålet stå et kort øjeblik.

Men det skorter ikke på opfordringer fra omgangskredsen til at få lidt gang i romantikken (pseudo-romantikken) igen. Således installerede jeg for nogle måneder siden Tinder app'en på min iphone, og til de læsere, der ikke har stiftet bekendtskab med den kan jeg fortælle, at det er en app som leverer "emner" indenfor en nærmere defineret geografisk radius, og man kan så klikke ja tak eller nej tak, baseret på et billede og en ret kort tekst. Først når begge parter har klikket ja tak kan man skrive beskeder til hinanden, og lad mig bare sige det sådan, at indtil dét gik op for mig, var jeg noget nedslået over min egen mangel på succes. Som pige på diverse dating sites er man nemlig normalt ganske forkælet mht mængden af henvendelser. Men her skal man altså have sin ja-hat på.

Well... I kan jo bladre lidt nedad og se om I synes, der er noget der er værd at gå efter...
(spoiler alert: der er guf til allersidst i indlægget)


@ N ~  have you been dating recently?  I haven't much, and my friends seem to think I should and whilst I think getting inspiration for a blog post isn't the most appropriate motivation for going on dates, I installed the Tinder app some time ago.

I don't know how familiar you are with Tinder, but one of the things about it is that not unless there is a match (both you and the other person have "liked" each other) are you able to send messages to each other.  It took me a while to realise this so at first I was pretty miffed at my seemingly very low success rate - my only other experience being traditional online dating sites where you get quite a few messages simply because you're a girl.  So I had to swipe a few people to the right, which was probably a good thing all in all. I was at risk of scratching the phone with all the left-swiping I was doing.  After that I did get a few messages, most of which were of the NSFW kind.

Anyways.  I've since uninstalled the app - but you tell me: was it a mistake?  Should I have reached out to some of these guys?  Was there solid gold in there?

Here goes...:

[Oooh, your wedding photo as
profile pic!  I'm sure your wife
(or ex-wife) (or very-soon-to-be
ex-wife) is thrilled to be included here...]



Translation:
"As Nik&Jay* would say: 
when a light goes out,
another is lit.... and good guidance is the
best GPS (Gaiety, Passion, and Smile) to 
start the day and end it. We will never
be too wise, old or clever to learn
something new every day."

(translated more or less word for word,
as true to the original as possible.
This guy is all about da
meaningful conversations...)

 *Editors note:
[Danish pop duo with extreeemely
"deep" and philosophical lyrics
.....you may detect a hint of sarcasm here] 



[A true playboy bunny.
Who wants to play with
his fluffy lil' ears?]




[I see what you are trying
to tell me ....

but no. Just no.]



Translation:

[It actually starts out quite well:]

"171 cm tall
Carpenter
Kind, nice and quiet guy.
If you want to know more, then
"like" so we can get to know each other"

[Then I think he smoked some
weed - it kind of goes off track from here:]

"And it isn't my kid I say Jacob
likes to go out on the town sometimes
To hold what I like
I like cats and dogs
I came dangerous journey to
Spain and Norway Germany
and more difficult."

[yup, definitely high on something]




Translation:
 "178 cm tall
Coach
Sexology Student
Tantra
"Do not yearn for the lights of
me or others but acknowledge that
you ARE love. The responsibility
for your happiness is yours alone.
Previous middle manager in a 
country-wide organisation.
Several years' experience with
redemption and with conducive
conversations. Perhaps you should
initiate contact if you are one of the
many who do not have a profile text?"

[I clicked "no" so hard I nearly
damaged my phone]




....And then I went to Scotland 
and saw this.
I might consider emigrating 
(and then, but only then,
re-installing the app)










Sunday, 7 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 1: travelled to a parallel universe


I september var jeg i Hamburg med en flok fra arbejdet. Det var ræddi, ræddi sjaw, og en øjenåbner på mange planer. Først fandt jeg ud af, at Louboutin-sko koster lige så meget som serviceeftersynet på min bil. Så blev jeg tipsy i champagne midt om eftermiddagen (der var tynde strimler af appelsinskal i!  Nom nom nom!) (og en lækker bartender - altså ikke i glasset, men bag baren) (helt sikkert gay, men pyt) (...)  Så var vi ude at spise på Die Bank, hvor denne fine mand pryder en af væggene....


Og SÅ gik vi på Hofbräuhaus. Da vi kom ind lagde jeg godt mærke til nogle personer i Tyroleroutfit, men jeg troede bare det var personalet.

Men det var det ikke!  En lille ekspedition ud til dametoilettet gik via dansegulvet, og de var ALLE SAMMEN, næsten, iført Heidikjoler og Lederhosen. Det var helt fantastisk! Som at være steget igennem en magisk portal og pludselig befinde sig i et helt andet univers. Jeg døde næsten af begejstring over al denne tyske entusiasme.





Den unge mand i det fine outfit nedenfor har jeg en date med til næste september. Jeg kan ganske vist ikke huske hvad han hedder, eller præcis hvilken dato, men det skal nok gå alt sammen. Vores forhold var kort og følelsesfuldt - jeg spurgte om jeg måtte tage et billede af ham, "weil du siehst ja so fantastisch aus", og i løbet af ganske kort tid svang han mig rundt på dansegulvet så jeg følte mig aldeles i Harzen og det var ganske fortryllende.  "Wir sehen uns nächstes Jahr" aftalte vi, så det er ganske vist. 


Og denne seje dame - hun er fra Dänemark. Det er min kollega, som satte samtlige Mädels til vægs ved at løfte hele 5 ølkrus i én hånd. Jeg var dybt imponeret. Selv kunne jeg ikke styre bare et enkelt; jeg sad og drak suttekop-style med begge hænder på kruset. Og måtte levne over halvdelen...


@ N ~ a little scroll through the pictures on my iphone shows just how remiss I have been in keeping you updated on The Life and Times of a Travelling Spinster (that would be me).

So today I'll share some pics from September last year with you. They're from a weekend in Hamburg with some of my colleagues, and it was the.most.awesome.weekend.ev-ah.

The amazing people that I work with let me tag along with them to a shop that sold Louboutin stiletto shoes. A pair of those cost exactly the same as having my car serviced, and I absolutely cannot walk in them. Amazing stuff.  Then they got me tipsy on champagne in the middle of the afternoon - I took to it like a duck to water - and I did some serious flirting with the bartender (gay as a picnic basket of course; they're always the best flirts).  In the evening we went to a cool restaurant and after dinner we went to the Hofbräuhaus for some serious beer.  The pic above is one of my colleagues who could easily get a job there - 5 beer steins in one hand! I'm ashamed to say I couldn't even lift one; at least not in a controlled manner.  Drinking beer, sippy-cup style, is a new level of coolness for me....

And the people there - fantastisch!!  Most of them were in Tyroler outfits, and they were having a great time. Walking across the dance floor felt like entering a parallel universe. I very nearly died of enthusiasm.

The guy posing in one of the pictures took me dancing, and we have a date for next September which I am very much looking forward to.  If only I could remember his name. And the exact date. But no matter, it's a date. Definitely :-)





Friday, 5 June 2015

Happy Father's Day

I forlængelse af sidste indlæg er vi nu nået til Fars Dag. Og Grundlovsdag, i øvrigt, og fridag. Den sidste af de dejlige forårsfridage ... jeg stemmer for at vi indfører nogle helligdage omkring september/november. Hvilket parti går ind for det?

I modsætning til min mor, som endte i et helt andet land, endte min far med at flytte lige omkring 100 meter hjemmefra. Han blev født lige her i det hus, hvor jeg bor i dag - af samme årsag er det ham i øvrigt - ifølge ham selv - aldeles umuligt at banke på døren når han skal ind her :-)

Så hvor min vilde udlængsel sikkert i høj grad stammer fra min mor, der er født med de store fjeldvidder i sit indre blik, kommer min afsindige hjemmefødninge-hed utvivlsomt fra min far. Fra ham har jeg så til gengæld også den ekstroverte side af min personlighed; den side der taler meget og griner højt og næsten er ved at kvæles i gode historier som bare  deles med hele selskabet.

Efter at jeg er flyttet tilbage til verdens navle og således, efter at have boet både hist og her, er endt med at være flyttet præcis lige så langt hjemmefra som min far (blot i den modsatte retning), har vores forhold fået en helt ny Gør-Det-Selv dimension. Med forbavselse og forundring er det gået op for mig, at det der med at "farmand kan alt" rent faktisk passer. Min far kan f***eme alt muligt sejt.  I stærk modsætning hertil har min far med støt stigende forbløffelse erkendt, at al denne praktiske begavelse på ingen som helst måde har manifesteret sig i hans ældste datter. 

Min far bygger andehuse, køber ny lastbil i stedet for at være fuldtids-folkepensionist, og blander sig i alt muligt. Han er fan af Morten Korch, gravhunde, og Biltema-kataloget. Verdens værste rodehoved men med uforklarlige Systemer så han véd hvor tingene er (medmindre hans ældste datter har ryddet op. Så råder Kaos).  Og, i al beskedenhed, verdens bedste far.

Glædelig Fars Dag!




@N ~ today is Father's Day here in the country of Plenty of Public Holidays (we have the day off - not in honour of our dads, but because it is also Constitution Day).

So.  My dad. My dad who imported my mother from a foreign country but himself ended up living a hundred yards from the house he was born in (and I do mean that quite literally. He was born roughly on the spot where my dining table is today.  It used to be my grandparents' bedroom; he wasn't born on a table :-)

When I moved back home and we started renovating this house, the relationship I have with my dad gained a new dimension. A DIY dimension.  I am, all joking aside, in awe of how many things my dad is capable of making/doing/fixing.  This awe is perhaps partly due to the fact that I am absolutely, utterly useless when it comes to wielding any kind of tool - so my dad is similarly awestruck (perhaps not quite the right word...) by my ineptitude.

My dad is where I get the extrovert side of my personality from. My love of random facts, and whatever talents for logistics I have.  (My sister got the same things. Plus his exceptional navigational skills; another thing that wasn't really passed on to me). He is a source of inspiration and daughterly annoyance in fairly equal measures, a most excellent architect of chicken and duck coops, and he manoeuvers a bulldozer like a fine instrument. He is a very special person, and I don't tell him that as often as I should. So,

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY
- to mine, who just happens to be the best one,
and to all the other dads who are
quite good as well :-)



Sunday, 10 May 2015

Happy Mother's Day

Min mor blev født i Norge. Det er verdens pæneste land, og sådan set tror jeg ikke hun havde planer om at bo nogen som helst andre steder end der.

Men så skete der det, at en af hendes klassekammerater, som havde en dansk penneveninde, overtalte min mor til, at dét skulle hun også have. Selv om min mor egentlig ikke gad, fordi hun meget hellere ville lege.  Og så begyndte hun at udveksle breve med Helga i Øster Starup i Danmark.

Da brevskriveriet havde stået på i nogle år, besøgte de hinanden. Helga kom til Norge, og min mor besøgte Helga.  Og anden gang min mor var i Danmark, mødte hun et fjols. Han kom ind og sagde "nå, har vi fån' svenskere i byen", hvilket måske ikke er den bedste indledningsreplik når man vil føre en samtale med en nordmand. Hun var ikke imponeret. Det var han vist til gengæld, for han fortsatte med at gøre fabelagtige indtryk. F.eks. ved på en udflugt til et svømmestadion at springe ud fra en noget højere vippe end han måske egentlig burde, og derefter hundesvømme efter hende rundt i bassinet. Hun var stadig ikke imponeret.

Men efter lidt tid kunne hun se, at han slet ikke var et fjols alligevel.  Han var sådan en, der ved meget om alt muligt, er uhyre underholdende, elsker gravhunde, kan bakke med trailer de mest umulige steder, og kan betjene en gummiged med lige så stor præcision som en kirurg betjener en pincet (lige præcis dét kunne hun ikke vide, da han ikke havde nogen gummiged dengang, men hun har nok haft en klar fornemmelse).

Og sådan gik det til, at min norske mor blev forelsket i og flyttede ned til min danske far. I 2014 kunne de fejre 40 års bryllupsdag, og til deres sølvbryllup for efterhånden mange år siden sagde han i sin tale til hende: "du skal have tak for, at du kom herned. For du har givet mig et godt liv".

Hun har også givet mig et godt liv.  Min mor er så stabil som de norske fjelde, så flyvsk som en dansk sommerdag, så klog som et træ fuldt af ugler, og så kærlig som de lange lyse nætter. Hun har en skæv humor, fniser temmelig meget hvis hun får for meget snaps, og har engang lagt julens andeskrog ud til den lokale ræv, som 2 dage forinden havde stjålet de originale ænder, der stod udenfor til optøning, fordi "nu er den jo vant til at spise godt". For min far, min søster og mig er hun "dærfra wår wærden går" og alting er en anelse forkert, hvis hun ikke er her.

Så allersomkjæreste Moder Jord-i-hovedet: 
Glædelig Mors Dag!

PS - og glædelig Mors Dag til Helga. Når alt kommer til alt, er det jo sådan set hende, min søster og jeg skylder selve vores eksistens :-)



@N ~ today is Mother's Day in Denmark.  I haven't bought any flowers.  So instead I thought I'd use this corner of the internet to pay tribute to my mum.

She loves daffodils, just like yours.  She bought me and my sister our very first guinea pigs, not realising the piggie madness she thus initiated. She has taught me how to bake Norwegian cakes, and is infatuated with the birdlife in her garden.

My mum is originally from Norway and ended up in Denmark because she got a Danish pen pal, Helga.  Helga lived on a farm in the tiny Danish village of Oster Starup (where I now reside).  On her second visit here, my mum bumped into a rather annoying young man who thought she was Swedish (that doesn't go down well with any Norwegian) and then tried to make an impression on her by jumping off the highest diving boards even though he wasn't that much of a swimmer.

After a while she came to the conclusion that he wasn't that annoying after all - he was also kind, knowledgeable, loved dachshunds, and could reverse a car with trailer like no one else - and as these things go, she ended up falling in love with him and moved to Denmark.

Last year was their 40th anniversary. When we celebrated their silver anniversary back in '99, my dad said in his speech: "I want to thank you for coming to Denmark. Because you've given me a very good life"


So, happy Mother's Day to Verdens Bedste Mor (you probably don't need google translate to tell you that means the best mother in the world :-)