Tuesday, 25 August 2015

The Ripple effect- amusing small minds since 2004

The first time I tried a sooperdooper skin-ripplingly fast hand dryer was at Los Angeles Union Station in 2004 (I wasn't there to catch a train, I just wanted to see the station. Because I'm like that.)

Fast forward eleven years and I'm equally delighted. I do apologise to the people who were queuing to use the bathroom after me. Time flies when you're having fun (it sure doesn't take much :-)

I'll let you know when I'm all grown up. Best not to hold your breath...


Thursday, 30 July 2015

New chicks on the block

Nå, men jeg holder jo så ferie. Det går ræddi godt med det; mit talent for afslapning er næsten på højde med Viggos.  Helt på den lade side har jeg dog ikke ligget - jeg har foretaget en mindre ommøblering i huset, ryddet op i garagen, malet, klippet hæk, og vasket omkring 50 gamle drivhusruder som (inshallah) skal blive en del af et hjemmelavet vægdrivhus i nær fremtid.

Og SÅ!  Så er der flyttet HØNS ind på matriklen! De har boet her et døgn nu, og det er simpelthen noget af det bedste man kan anskaffe sig.  Indtil videre er det dog ren "underskudsforretning" - dels er de ikke gamle nok til at de er begyndt at lægge æg; dels er jeg særdeles uproduktiv nu. Man kan sagtens tilbringe 20-25 pauser om dagen med bare at sidde og kigge på dem.

Hermed præsenteres damerne:

@N ~ the chickens have moved in!!  Technically they're my sister's  (long-ish story; will save for a later post) but they now live in my back yard. It's awesome!  They're not laying eggs yet; I think they look "grown up" but they're actually not that old.  I'm not sure if we'll get eggs this year as chickens often stop laying in winter (which is when these ladies will reach "adulthood"). No matter. They are marvellous little creatures.

Without further ado, here are the ladies.   Hatched in an incubator on my sister's kitchen table earlier this spring :-)

1: HØNE-SIGNE

Opkaldt efter et menneske ved navn Signe.  En meget hyggelig høne, som gerne vil tages op og aes

Høne-Signe (Chicken Signe) is named after a girl called Signe. She's the sweetest little creature and quite tame; you can pick her up and cuddle her (if you're not creeped out by chickens like my friend Iben is :-)


2: LILLE PI

 π   

Kær lille høne som gerne kommer spænende hen og spiser af hånden.  Opkaldt efter 3,14159........ (det er min søsters skyld; hun tog den matematiske linie i gymnasiet)

Little Pi is - well, named after the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter :-)  We are nothing if not creative with our nomenclature here, ha ha.    She is very friendly and happily sprints over to greet you when you bring treats


3: PAMELA

Den sorte høne med det hvide hoved. Hende er jeg meget glad for, for hun minder lidt om mig selv. Ikke verdens mest sociale høne, men hyggelig, og meget tilbøjelig til lige at nuppe en morfar

The black one is called Pamela. That is my fault; the first two chickens were named by my sister and then I jokingly thought of the names for the other two and once I'd said them - slightly ridiculous though they are - they stuck....  I like Pamela a lot; she's a bit like me. Not the most social hen, but sweetnatured and very, very fond of midday naps


3: LISELOTTE

Det er min skyld; de sidste to navne... Min søster navngav Høne-Signe og Lille Pi allerede da de var kyllinger.  Og så sagde jeg nærmest for sjov, at så skulle de to andre hedde Pamela og Liselotte ...og da det først var sagt, så blev det hængende.  Skrækkeligt altså, men sådan er dét bare. 

Liselotte er muligvis en hane, faktisk. Vi er ikke helt sikre. Men hvis vi pludselig vågner ved hanegal, så bliver h*n til tarteletter....

Liselotte is a girl's name here in Denmark. But we're actually a bit unsure if Liselotte might turn out to be a boy.  S/he's a mixed breed so it's a little bit hard to tell.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed - but if we are suddenly awoken by a 5AM cock-a-doodle-do, s/he will go to the pot....   



And here is the happy flock, siesta'ing under the apple tree.  Sorry for the branch that is in the way; it's actually quite hard to get a decent photo of them when they're lying down because the moment I approach the chicken run they rush over to see if I've brought any treats :-)

Middagshygge under æbletræet. Med en gren lige midt i billedet; beklager meget. Det viste sig at være temmelig vanskeligt at tage billeder af dem når de lå ned, for så snart jeg nærmer mig kommer de spænende for at se, om jeg monstro har en godbid med (de har som regel ret)



Friday, 17 July 2015

Les Vacances

Three weeks of doing-exactly-what-I-feel-like kick off today!! 

The year before last I did absolutely nothing on my holiday. I was 100% lazy and it was fantastic. Last year I felt a bit more energetic so I had a might-do list and actually ticked off a few things on it. This year I have a to-do list....

There should still be plenty of laziness though. To ensure that, I have enlisted the assistance of Saint Viggo The Ever Cuddly. He's even better at it than I am. 

Yes, he's using a chunk of corn as a pillow. That way food is within easy reach if he wakes up feeling a bit peckish:-)

Saturday, 13 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 4 - revisited the 80's

This music video really has everything good from the eighties, apart from Cindy Lauper maybe.

It has pan flutes ....


It has Morten Harket, giving us that look and showing off his cheek bones

It has a guy playing a portable keyboard

It has the signature cartoons, made famous in the "Take on Me" video


And a dial phone .... hello nostalgia. Do you remember the satisfactory feeling of dialling the number zero?
All screen shots taken late late late one evening
when I was supposed to be asleep.
I wasn't, and now you're paying the price
mwa-ha-ha


And if you feel like a bit of 80's music, here is the video:


Thursday, 11 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 3: considered going vegetarian

Lad det være sagt med det samme: jeg synes meget bedre om Hong Kong end om resten af Kina. Hong Kong giver på en måde bedre mening i mit hoved når jeg bevæger mig rundt i byen, og lur mig om ikke det nok er kolonitidens aftryk der huer min anglofile hjerne. Inderst inde er jeg jo bare en elitær europæer.

Når det så er sagt, så lykkedes det mig stadig at få et par nær-gys-oplevelser ved mødet med et menukort...

@ N ~ you haven't really been to China if you haven't seen at least one menu with rather unusual items on it.  This time it was Hong Kong which I liked a whole lot better than mainland China (it's the elitist, anglophile European in me, I'm sure).  I still spent a couple of delightful moments pondering which delicacy to try before meekly opting for "just noodles with chicken please".

Mmmh, Saliva Chicken.
...or Drunken Pig?

Decisions, decisions...
Savlekylling eller beruset gris?


I'm guessing it was the Drunken Pig
that was out of service (but could 
definitely be mistaken here. It just
seems very likely is all) 
Jeg ved ikke helt hvad det var for
en ret, der var "out of service",
men det lyder da sandsynligt,
at det var den berusede gris

Hønsefødder og abrikoser
og lungen af en kyyyylling

Kom så, syng med børn!

PS . Det kan ikke udelukkes, at det
er lungen af en gris. Men kylling
passer bedre med melodien.


...but nothing beats this one from Beijing.
Face/Off
Intet slår dog denne her fra et menukort
i Beijing. Stop-Spild-Af-Mad folket
græder af lykke over den smukke
udnyttelse af hele dyret :-)


Monday, 8 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 2: ditched the Tinder app

Som trofaste læsere vil vide, holder jeg meget af at gå på dates. Jeg har dog aldrig fået svunget mig op på niveauet fra november 2012, hvor jeg var på 11 first dates + det løse. Er ligesom blevet en smule lad, kan jeg godt fornemme.

Omvendt - er det ikke lidt dårlig stil at gå på date med det primære formål at samle inspiration til blogindlæg...? Vi lader spørgsmålet stå et kort øjeblik.

Men det skorter ikke på opfordringer fra omgangskredsen til at få lidt gang i romantikken (pseudo-romantikken) igen. Således installerede jeg for nogle måneder siden Tinder app'en på min iphone, og til de læsere, der ikke har stiftet bekendtskab med den kan jeg fortælle, at det er en app som leverer "emner" indenfor en nærmere defineret geografisk radius, og man kan så klikke ja tak eller nej tak, baseret på et billede og en ret kort tekst. Først når begge parter har klikket ja tak kan man skrive beskeder til hinanden, og lad mig bare sige det sådan, at indtil dét gik op for mig, var jeg noget nedslået over min egen mangel på succes. Som pige på diverse dating sites er man nemlig normalt ganske forkælet mht mængden af henvendelser. Men her skal man altså have sin ja-hat på.

Well... I kan jo bladre lidt nedad og se om I synes, der er noget der er værd at gå efter...
(spoiler alert: der er guf til allersidst i indlægget)


@ N ~  have you been dating recently?  I haven't much, and my friends seem to think I should and whilst I think getting inspiration for a blog post isn't the most appropriate motivation for going on dates, I installed the Tinder app some time ago.

I don't know how familiar you are with Tinder, but one of the things about it is that not unless there is a match (both you and the other person have "liked" each other) are you able to send messages to each other.  It took me a while to realise this so at first I was pretty miffed at my seemingly very low success rate - my only other experience being traditional online dating sites where you get quite a few messages simply because you're a girl.  So I had to swipe a few people to the right, which was probably a good thing all in all. I was at risk of scratching the phone with all the left-swiping I was doing.  After that I did get a few messages, most of which were of the NSFW kind.

Anyways.  I've since uninstalled the app - but you tell me: was it a mistake?  Should I have reached out to some of these guys?  Was there solid gold in there?

Here goes...:

[Oooh, your wedding photo as
profile pic!  I'm sure your wife
(or ex-wife) (or very-soon-to-be
ex-wife) is thrilled to be included here...]



Translation:
"As Nik&Jay* would say: 
when a light goes out,
another is lit.... and good guidance is the
best GPS (Gaiety, Passion, and Smile) to 
start the day and end it. We will never
be too wise, old or clever to learn
something new every day."

(translated more or less word for word,
as true to the original as possible.
This guy is all about da
meaningful conversations...)

 *Editors note:
[Danish pop duo with extreeemely
"deep" and philosophical lyrics
.....you may detect a hint of sarcasm here] 



[A true playboy bunny.
Who wants to play with
his fluffy lil' ears?]




[I see what you are trying
to tell me ....

but no. Just no.]



Translation:

[It actually starts out quite well:]

"171 cm tall
Carpenter
Kind, nice and quiet guy.
If you want to know more, then
"like" so we can get to know each other"

[Then I think he smoked some
weed - it kind of goes off track from here:]

"And it isn't my kid I say Jacob
likes to go out on the town sometimes
To hold what I like
I like cats and dogs
I came dangerous journey to
Spain and Norway Germany
and more difficult."

[yup, definitely high on something]




Translation:
 "178 cm tall
Coach
Sexology Student
Tantra
"Do not yearn for the lights of
me or others but acknowledge that
you ARE love. The responsibility
for your happiness is yours alone.
Previous middle manager in a 
country-wide organisation.
Several years' experience with
redemption and with conducive
conversations. Perhaps you should
initiate contact if you are one of the
many who do not have a profile text?"

[I clicked "no" so hard I nearly
damaged my phone]




....And then I went to Scotland 
and saw this.
I might consider emigrating 
(and then, but only then,
re-installing the app)










Sunday, 7 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 1: travelled to a parallel universe


I september var jeg i Hamburg med en flok fra arbejdet. Det var ræddi, ræddi sjaw, og en øjenåbner på mange planer. Først fandt jeg ud af, at Louboutin-sko koster lige så meget som serviceeftersynet på min bil. Så blev jeg tipsy i champagne midt om eftermiddagen (der var tynde strimler af appelsinskal i!  Nom nom nom!) (og en lækker bartender - altså ikke i glasset, men bag baren) (helt sikkert gay, men pyt) (...)  Så var vi ude at spise på Die Bank, hvor denne fine mand pryder en af væggene....


Og SÅ gik vi på Hofbräuhaus. Da vi kom ind lagde jeg godt mærke til nogle personer i Tyroleroutfit, men jeg troede bare det var personalet.

Men det var det ikke!  En lille ekspedition ud til dametoilettet gik via dansegulvet, og de var ALLE SAMMEN, næsten, iført Heidikjoler og Lederhosen. Det var helt fantastisk! Som at være steget igennem en magisk portal og pludselig befinde sig i et helt andet univers. Jeg døde næsten af begejstring over al denne tyske entusiasme.





Den unge mand i det fine outfit nedenfor har jeg en date med til næste september. Jeg kan ganske vist ikke huske hvad han hedder, eller præcis hvilken dato, men det skal nok gå alt sammen. Vores forhold var kort og følelsesfuldt - jeg spurgte om jeg måtte tage et billede af ham, "weil du siehst ja so fantastisch aus", og i løbet af ganske kort tid svang han mig rundt på dansegulvet så jeg følte mig aldeles i Harzen og det var ganske fortryllende.  "Wir sehen uns nächstes Jahr" aftalte vi, så det er ganske vist. 


Og denne seje dame - hun er fra Dänemark. Det er min kollega, som satte samtlige Mädels til vægs ved at løfte hele 5 ølkrus i én hånd. Jeg var dybt imponeret. Selv kunne jeg ikke styre bare et enkelt; jeg sad og drak suttekop-style med begge hænder på kruset. Og måtte levne over halvdelen...


@ N ~ a little scroll through the pictures on my iphone shows just how remiss I have been in keeping you updated on The Life and Times of a Travelling Spinster (that would be me).

So today I'll share some pics from September last year with you. They're from a weekend in Hamburg with some of my colleagues, and it was the.most.awesome.weekend.ev-ah.

The amazing people that I work with let me tag along with them to a shop that sold Louboutin stiletto shoes. A pair of those cost exactly the same as having my car serviced, and I absolutely cannot walk in them. Amazing stuff.  Then they got me tipsy on champagne in the middle of the afternoon - I took to it like a duck to water - and I did some serious flirting with the bartender (gay as a picnic basket of course; they're always the best flirts).  In the evening we went to a cool restaurant and after dinner we went to the Hofbräuhaus for some serious beer.  The pic above is one of my colleagues who could easily get a job there - 5 beer steins in one hand! I'm ashamed to say I couldn't even lift one; at least not in a controlled manner.  Drinking beer, sippy-cup style, is a new level of coolness for me....

And the people there - fantastisch!!  Most of them were in Tyroler outfits, and they were having a great time. Walking across the dance floor felt like entering a parallel universe. I very nearly died of enthusiasm.

The guy posing in one of the pictures took me dancing, and we have a date for next September which I am very much looking forward to.  If only I could remember his name. And the exact date. But no matter, it's a date. Definitely :-)