Monday, 8 June 2015

Stuff I did when I wasn't here, part 2: ditched the Tinder app

Som trofaste læsere vil vide, holder jeg meget af at gå på dates. Jeg har dog aldrig fået svunget mig op på niveauet fra november 2012, hvor jeg var på 11 first dates + det løse. Er ligesom blevet en smule lad, kan jeg godt fornemme.

Omvendt - er det ikke lidt dårlig stil at gå på date med det primære formål at samle inspiration til blogindlæg...? Vi lader spørgsmålet stå et kort øjeblik.

Men det skorter ikke på opfordringer fra omgangskredsen til at få lidt gang i romantikken (pseudo-romantikken) igen. Således installerede jeg for nogle måneder siden Tinder app'en på min iphone, og til de læsere, der ikke har stiftet bekendtskab med den kan jeg fortælle, at det er en app som leverer "emner" indenfor en nærmere defineret geografisk radius, og man kan så klikke ja tak eller nej tak, baseret på et billede og en ret kort tekst. Først når begge parter har klikket ja tak kan man skrive beskeder til hinanden, og lad mig bare sige det sådan, at indtil dét gik op for mig, var jeg noget nedslået over min egen mangel på succes. Som pige på diverse dating sites er man nemlig normalt ganske forkælet mht mængden af henvendelser. Men her skal man altså have sin ja-hat på.

Well... I kan jo bladre lidt nedad og se om I synes, der er noget der er værd at gå efter...
(spoiler alert: der er guf til allersidst i indlægget)

@ N ~  have you been dating recently?  I haven't much, and my friends seem to think I should and whilst I think getting inspiration for a blog post isn't the most appropriate motivation for going on dates, I installed the Tinder app some time ago.

I don't know how familiar you are with Tinder, but one of the things about it is that not unless there is a match (both you and the other person have "liked" each other) are you able to send messages to each other.  It took me a while to realise this so at first I was pretty miffed at my seemingly very low success rate - my only other experience being traditional online dating sites where you get quite a few messages simply because you're a girl.  So I had to swipe a few people to the right, which was probably a good thing all in all. I was at risk of scratching the phone with all the left-swiping I was doing.  After that I did get a few messages, most of which were of the NSFW kind.

Anyways.  I've since uninstalled the app - but you tell me: was it a mistake?  Should I have reached out to some of these guys?  Was there solid gold in there?

Here goes...:

[Oooh, your wedding photo as
profile pic!  I'm sure your wife
(or ex-wife) (or very-soon-to-be
ex-wife) is thrilled to be included here...]

"As Nik&Jay* would say: 
when a light goes out,
another is lit.... and good guidance is the
best GPS (Gaiety, Passion, and Smile) to 
start the day and end it. We will never
be too wise, old or clever to learn
something new every day."

(translated more or less word for word,
as true to the original as possible.
This guy is all about da
meaningful conversations...)

 *Editors note:
[Danish pop duo with extreeemely
"deep" and philosophical lyrics may detect a hint of sarcasm here] 

[A true playboy bunny.
Who wants to play with
his fluffy lil' ears?]

[I see what you are trying
to tell me ....

but no. Just no.]


[It actually starts out quite well:]

"171 cm tall
Kind, nice and quiet guy.
If you want to know more, then
"like" so we can get to know each other"

[Then I think he smoked some
weed - it kind of goes off track from here:]

"And it isn't my kid I say Jacob
likes to go out on the town sometimes
To hold what I like
I like cats and dogs
I came dangerous journey to
Spain and Norway Germany
and more difficult."

[yup, definitely high on something]

 "178 cm tall
Sexology Student
"Do not yearn for the lights of
me or others but acknowledge that
you ARE love. The responsibility
for your happiness is yours alone.
Previous middle manager in a 
country-wide organisation.
Several years' experience with
redemption and with conducive
conversations. Perhaps you should
initiate contact if you are one of the
many who do not have a profile text?"

[I clicked "no" so hard I nearly
damaged my phone]

....And then I went to Scotland 
and saw this.
I might consider emigrating 
(and then, but only then,
re-installing the app)

1 comment:

N said...

Ooohhh, I vote for the kilt!! Haven't been dating...but keep trying to talk myself in to getting back in the pool. I just keep seeing ads like the ones you posted and they do the opposite of motivate me. I feel like dating in my age group and area is like swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool. As for Tinder, um, no...just no. Around here its a hook-up app...I'm not looking for an electronic pimp. Here wishing us both luck!!